Infertility Awareness: Where we're at

Continuing with Infertility Awareness week, here is where we are at in our infertility journey. I will keep it as brief as I can :)

I think the last time I talked about our infertility was just a small blip on my post about the new year. We had taken most of the summer off to try and save some money. Physically and emotionally I needed some time off too. We started back up in November and had some high hopes, I felt recharged and better prepared this time around. I had done some research and found a few of my prescriptions locally which saved us a little money, we knew what to expect with our treatments as far as costs and emotions, we felt ready. Usually you are allowed to stay on Clomid for about 4-6 months, I ended up being on Clomid for 7 months... 3 months then 5 off and then 4 months again. They let me try that one last month because my body was responding well to it and was finally "regular." The beginning of March we had our blood test and like the other 7 months, plus those where we weren't at the doctor, it came back negative. I was crushed, Adam was crushed. I just didn't and still don't understand why I wasn't pregnant. By this time it had been 3 years and 3 months since we had started trying for a baby and 1 year 7 months since our miscarriage.

Our next step was to meet with the doctor again and decide a new plan of action. I love our doctor so much, she knows her stuff and is also very compassionate towards us. We got into her office and she told us that she was completely baffled as to why we weren't pregnant yet. She said that since we had gotten pregnant once that she felt once my hormones were regulated that it should happen pretty soon for us. We were told that she doesn't like to leave anyone on Clomid for that long because it can start doing more harm than good, but that everything always looked great so she let us go one more month. It was time for us to start looking at other options, of course I started bawling because this is not how I was hoping my treatments would go.

So what's next? Our next options are IUI (artificial insemination) which increases our chances to about 20-30%. We get three chances with that option. After that our next step would be IVF which she said would increase our chances to about 75%, but it is also $10,000 a try! Our doctor is so great and said that it is totally our choice with what we want to do next. She told us that if we decided to the IUI route first, she only wants us to try three times because if it doesn't work after three times then she doesn't want to waste any more of our money and would rather have us be able to save for IVF. We decided we would like to try the IUI first, partly because it is about a 10th of the cost of IVF (still expensive) and it is also a little less evasive. I will be put on new meds and have two shots instead of one. We are taking a couple months off to try and save up and also to get emotionally ready again. I am not sure what month we will start, right now we are shooting for July as the latest.

That is where we are treatment-wise. Emotionally, physically, financially we are tired! Infertility is a struggle I would not wish on my worst enemy. It really does take it's toll on your life. Some days are good, I feel normal and ready to take on the world and I want to jump right into treatments. Other days I am depressed, grumpy and feel like we will never have our own child and that this is all just a waste of time and money. We participated in a family fast with Adam's family which was amazing and renewed some of my faith and hope. I have had lots of blessings and said many prayers. No matter how tired, stressed and depressed I get I am still not quite ready to give up. I will keep pushing on and do all I can until I can't give anymore.

That is where we are at. Thanks as always for reading my, anything-but-brief posts and most of all for your thoughts and prayers!