Style...I have none

Looking in my closet lately and I realized that I really don't like my clothes. I know this is a very random topic but I am kind of a random person.

I have always been the t-shirt and jeans girl, but I am getting a little tired of it. I just want to have some clothes that are a little more girly, trendy, cute, etc. I have a few dresses that I absolutely love but I don't want to wear dresses all the time. So what brings up this hatred for my clothes?? Part of it is reading blogs where the women are dressed so much better than I am and the kicker is when they share where they got their clothes. Some of them do get clothes from Anthro, which I will never be able to afford, but then there are those that find clothes at Forever 21 or Old Navy. How come when I go shopping there is never anything that cute at any of those stores or that cheap? Like Little Miss Momma she is the cutest thing and can seem to put outfits together that I would never even think of, jealous that is what I am :-)

 One thing I don't understand on some of these blogs is the socks with heels, sandals,etc.

No offense to you if you can pull this look off but I really don't think I could and honestly

I. Just. Don't. Get. It.

I think to start out I need to go through my closet and actually see what I have in there. Then there is the matter of learning to buy the right pieces for my closet, any suggestions on must haves? Third I need money. I really want some new dresses like these

Shabby Apple is a little on the pricey side but I ADORE them. I own one dress from them that I got last year thanks to Groupon. It is the perfect black dress and I want more.

Maybe some day I will have a sense of style but I think I might need a lot of help to get there.

Mom

So I know that Mother's Day was a few days ago, but I had a busy weekend and then I got a cold so don't give me your attitude :)

I just couldn't let this special holiday go by with out saying something.

I am a lucky lucky girl! I have the best momma in the world.
Sure we used to butt heads when I was growing up but she was ALWAYS there for me.
My mom went to all of my plays, talent shows, cheerleading performances, graduations, church things and everything else in between! I feel so grateful to have a mom and dad that supported me through all of the major events in my life. I know you have already seen a picture of my mom but I have to show one of my favorites from our wedding

Tell me we don't look alike? Doesn't she make a smokin' grandma too?

Just a few facts about my mom:

* She LOVES Green Day, seriously! 

* She also loves Jimmy Eat World, don't believe me? You should have seen my CD that she destroyed by listening to it too much, haha

* Her favorite color is purple. Her bedroom is purple and so is her bathroom

* She has beautiful flower gardens 

* She makes delicious lasagna

* Her and I got our second piercings in our ears together

* She always has her toe nails painted 

* She has to have her cup of coffee in the morning

* She is AWESOME!

My mom is such a beautiful, smart, strong and independent woman and I can only hope that I can turn out to be the kind of woman she is. So thank you to my momma for always being there and for teaching me to be a strong confident woman. Thank you for teaching me that it is ok to have my own opinions, to know how to take care of myself and that I am capable to do anything I want. I love you mom and I know that you don't read this blog but if you ever do just know that you are the best mom I could ask for. 

I am going to try and dig up some more pictures of us together, I think most of them are at my mom's house. 

Weekend!

It's Friday Friday
I'm sorry, sorry I had to do it. This video still makes me laugh and who can't use a good laugh once in a while.

Anyways I am feeling better after my post yesterday, I think sometimes I just need to get my feelings out and then things start looking brighter. I am feeling pretty good today and it could possibly be because it is Friday. Or maybe it is the fact that I switched cubicles this week and now I have windows to look out.

I am not sure that I love my new cubicle but I sure do enjoy being able to see the sunlight and what a great week for that.
This is going to be a great weekend! Friday I don't really have any plans and I am so excited to just do what ever we want. Saturday my nieces are going to be baptized, I can't believe they are eight! I am starting to feel old. Sunday we get to attend church and spend the day with our families which always includes eating yummy food. I don't know what else the weekend holds for us but it looks like we may be getting some rain and you know what? I love spring-time rainstorms, but I'm not looking forward to the snow that may be in our forecast next week. I hope you all have a wonderful and beautiful weekend!

My Struggle

I have really debated posting this, but this is a blog about my life which includes the ups and the downs.          
So this past month makes month 17 of trying, unsuccessfully, to add to our family.
This post may not be too happy or even very rational and maybe TMI so I apologize in advance.Also I wanted to let everyone know that I do not mean to offend anyone or ask for pity. I honestly just needed to get this all out because I think the hubby is tired of me talking about it and I seem to be able to say things better when they are written down.

I took my first round of Clomid in April and I was really hopefully that it was all I needed to get things going and hopefully be able to make that big announcement to all of our family and friends that after 16 months of trying and almost 5 years of marriage Adam and I would be adding to our family. But instead this week I found out that we can now add this as month 17 with out any success. I hate the way I am feeling. I start to wonder if it is all my fault? Did we wait too long to start trying for a baby of our own? Maybe we should have started right after we got married, I will tell you if I knew it would be this hard and take this long we would have. Maybe the Lord is punishing me for being jealous and angry when those around me got pregnant? Maybe the Lord is trying to teach me compassion or humble me? Maybe I have hardened my heart and now I need to find a way to change? Maybe I am missing something that we need to be doing? Maybe I am just broken? Maybe we aren't meant to have children, maybe it is the Lord's way of telling us we wouldn't be good parents? Maybe the fact that I will probably have to go back to work after having a baby makes me unfit to be a mom? I pray for strength that every time my "monthly visitor" shows up I might be able to not feel so upset, angry or alone but every time that horrible day shows up I am all of the above. You would think that after 17 months I would be used to it. When people say that fertility problems make you feel every emotion out there they aren't kidding. My sister and a few of my close friends went through or are going through their times of infertility and they give me hope. So thank you! I know that 17 months is not a long time to some to be trying but when you weren't expecting any problems and that things would go smoothly it is a LIFETIME. Now Mother's Day is coming up this weekend and I am kind of dreading it. Please don't get me wrong, I love the Mother's in my life and I am thankful for my mom and everything she has done for me but to have to go to church and hear them talk about mothers and how it is the best thing that ever happened to them is giving me some anxiety. I don't know if I will be able to hold it together. Our ward is different than any ward I have ever been in, there are A LOT of kids (think at least 2 nursery's and before we split there were 5) and A LOT of pregnant women, this makes it hard sometimes to pay attention to what is being said at church instead of looking at the other families and wondering why we don't have children yet. Some days, like today, it takes everything in me to keep from crying at everything, other days I don't feel anything. I think I do a pretty good job of keeping my composure, but honestly I am struggling a lot lately. I am at a loss. I am going to start my next round of Clomid this month and try to keep my faith and hope up. I feel awful when I get upset because someone else I know is pregnant or just had a baby, because honestly I am happy for them, it is just hard because I wish it was me. I feel like a failure because I know that Adam would make such a good daddy and I wish I could at least give him a chance to be one, but I can't even do that. I apologize for the length of this post and I hope I didn't upset anyone or offend anyone. I am going to keep praying, keep going to the temple and try to keep my faith in the Lord that he knows what he is doing and what is best for us.

If you made it through that thank you for reading. I will be back to the more upbeat and hopefully more interesting posts in the next day or two.

My go-to meal for a weeknight

I just wanted to share one of my favorite go-to dinners for a busy night or a night that I just don't want to make a big complicated meal. My dad used to make this dinner a lot and we loved it. Now the hubs loves it. I apologize for the pictures I am still using just a small point and shoot and I promise it really does look and taste yummy.

Sweet and Sour Sausage

Ingredients
Sausage (we use Hillshire Farm smoked sausage in the U shape)
Veggies (we like green peppers, sometimes other colors, onions, carrots and boccoli my dad and I like pineapple in it but Adam does not care for it so I usually leave it out)
Sweet and Sour sauce (someday I will attempt to make my own but we are going for simplicity)
Rice

First cut up the veggies and set them aside. Next cut up the sausage I like to slice it into circles. Then start your rice.

Put the sausage in the skillet and stir fry until a golden brown 

Remove the sausage from the pan and set aside. Next throw the veggies in the skillet, you may want to add a little Extra Virgin Olive Oil if it seems a little dry. Stir Fry the veggies until tender.

When the veggies are good everyone goes back into the pan. Give it a little stir and add your sweet and sour sauce. Mix it until everything is easily coated and turn down the heat and cover for a few minutes. The sauce will thicken a little and it gives the rice a few more minutes to cook.

Doesn't it look yummy? I love how colorful it is with all of the veggies and it smells delicious while cooking.

(Don't you love how you can see the steam?) Serve over rice and enjoy. 

That really is hubby's "mmmm, yummy" face.

Blank Walls

Hey there! I have been MIA lately, sorry about that. I have been a little preoccupied getting our car fixed, which only took a little over a week yipee, getting ready to finish our sod and sprinklers and trying to serve in my calling.

Anyways just a little over a year ago we moved into our very first home. 

This was our family room in the middle of the move. Notice how big and empty our walls are.

Well here we are a year later and........

Our walls are still big and empty. I have no idea what to put on them and I am not sure the best way to make them look filled with out being cluttered and crowded.

Any ideas??

I always dreamed about decorating my home but now that we are here are don't know what to do and I don't want to spend a lot of money. 

I had better get my brain to start working.......